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By Gaki (tooboe @ blue-prism.net) AUTHOR'S
NOTE:
Picking on Hisoka too much, but the boy screams angst and hurt me! And how
am I to deny him all that? *coughs* Right, Tsuzuki makes the scene! Only
to be confused. [1] = A poem by William Blake.
I thought it was fitting. ^^ The dictionary
defines sane as 'mentally sound and healthy'. It defines insane as 'exhibiting
serious and debilitating mental disorder'. Who are we to say who is sane
and insane? How does one become insane? Does hearing voices in your head
not belonging to yours mean you're insane? Maybe those
who we called insane are actually sane. Maybe they see something no one
else can see, or rather, refuses to see. Maybe they see the truth in everything.
The human mind cannot handle truth. Truth is like the sun. One cannot look
at it straight in the eye without blinking or being blinded. So does that
mean it is truth itself that drives one to insanity? A tired,
strained voice spoke out into the darkened room. "What are you doing to
me?" He pulled at his chains again and winced when the sharp edges bit
into his skin, making him bleed. The cold still air of the room chilled
his chest. His shirt hung open and he closed his eyes, refusing to see
the red markings on his body. Muraki was
standing near the window again, looking out at the sky. "The question isn't
what I'm doing to you but what you are doing to yourself, boy." He turned
his head and looked at Hisoka, the glaring of the sun's light gleaming off
of his glasses. "W... what?" "A man once
said, 'The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed,
but that he cannot believe anyone else'." Later
that day... He let his
thoughts trail off on the subject. A frown appearing on his face as he thought
about the girl who finally made his partner break down into tears. Of course,
when they had first become partners, he'd always wonder what would cause
tears to form in those eyes. Him, being an overly emotional person, could
cry about anything and here was his partner, a seemingly standoffish boy,
who didn't feel the least bit sad when Mitani-sensei had fallen down in
front of them or when Kazusa gave up her life to save Hijiri. Hijiri. He suddenly
remembered the other boy's smile. He would look like that. If he'd smile.
That in itself was impossible. Nothing could make Hisoka smile, but that
didn't stop him of course. He had a mission in life, well, his after life
that is, to cause a smile no matter how tiny to bloom on Hisoka's face.
Besides, even Tatsumi smiled at him every now and then. No one was safe
from the Tsuzuki charm. Of course, neither was he. Shuddering at the thought
of Hakushaku ogling him during the arching tournament, he finally reached
his destination. Only to stare
open mouth when he found someone he never thought he'd see in place of Hisoka
smiling pleasantly up at him from where he sat. "I would
be lying if I said I wasn't expecting to see you, Tsuzuki-san." Muraki
smiled. He didn't
know how long he'd spent just staring blankly at the ground. The distant
sound of a water drop hitting the cold floor could be clearly heard from
where he hung against the wall. His shit was still open, his chest still
burning from the marks across his body. He didn't pay much attention to
any of that though. No, his mind was elsewhere. Lost in his own thoughts
and Muraki's words, he paid no heed to his dark and dreary surroundings.
"Wha..
what are you saying? I'm a liar?" "Aa.
You are a liar. You refuse to see what is clearly put out before you."
Muraki turned then, facing him. He glared
at Muraki, tired of the game he was playing. "I don't understand what
you're trying to say." Muraki
took off his glasses, looking at the slim frames. "You refuse to see
the truth." He placed it back into his pocket and looked back at Hisoka.
"Your parents. They were insane, weren't they?"
He spoke
out into the darkness. "No."
Here was a
person who was completely insane. He continued to glare at the doctor, willing the hate in his eyes to burn twin holes through Muraki's silver head. That only made the man more amused. "Where is he?" He all but demanded. "Hn? The boy?"
Another smile as he reached for his tea. "The boy is fine, Tsuzuki-san. There
is no need to worry about him." Tsuzuki continued
to glare at Muraki as he fisted his hands. "What are you doing to him?" Muraki looked
at him straight in the eyes, cool silver meeting raging violet. "I'm showing
him the truth." He blinked,
confused. The truth? Muraki showing Hisoka the truth? How could a person
like Muraki know the truth about anything? "What? What are you talking about?" Muraki casually
sipped his tea, then placed it back on the table. "I'm showing him the truth."
He repeated, as if talking to a child. Tracing his finger along the rim of
the cup he continued. "And the truth is, Tsuzuki-san." He paused, meeting
Tsuzuki's eyes with a malice smile. "You don't care about him." Purple eyes
stopped glaring and turned wide. "What?!" "Your
father, didn't he take you somewhere once? Where did he take you, boy?" "I..."
He closed his eyes. "Shut up! Shut up, Muraki!"
Short
legs tried to keep up as he held on tightly onto his father's hand. Wide innocent
green eyes looked up at the man who was leading him off into thick forest.
"Father??
Where are we going?"
His breathing
picked up. He could feel it. He could feel the cold air of that night long
ago touching his skin. The crisp clean air of the forest around him. The darkness
and the feel of eyes watching him from a place his young mind would never
know. He didn't like it. He didn't like
the dark.
An amused
chuckle. "The more you refuse to see it the more it will come. Where
did your father take you?" "...
No. He didn't take me anywhere!"
"Father??
Where are you taking me?" His father
refused to answer him.
"Where,
boy?"
His body shivered
in the cold room. "Stop it. I... I don't want..."
"N.. no. You're
wrong!" He had to be wrong. He didn't use Hisoka to keep him company. Sure,
he got lonely sometimes when no one was around and he didn't like that. No
one liked being lonely, right? So it was natural that he would want Hisoka
around to keep him company. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing. Muraki glanced
at Tsuzuki's clenched fists which were shaking on the table. Chuckling a bit,
he lifted the cup up and took a sip. Placing it down, he looked into Tsuzuki's
eyes. "Am I really, Tsuzuki-san? You are no better than I am." He continued
with a slight smile. "We both
use him for something."
"Father?
I want to go see the fireflies. May I go?" He waited quietly as the tall
figure of his father stood there in the shadows, his back to him. He really
did want to go see the fireflies. He'd heard the maids talk about them. About
how beautiful they were. "Father?" The
figure shifted slightly, his father's head turned to the side, looking at
him from the corner of his eyes. "... You want to see fireflies?"
"No." It was nothing but a whisper at first, but then he said it again. This time, stronger. As if he was trying not to convince Muraki, but himself. "No, Muraki. I am not like you. I am nothing like you." Tsuzuki growled lowly, his eyes burning. "I would never use Hisoka. Whatever you're planning to do to him-" He was determined
not to be sidetracked by that comment. He tightened his fists, willing himself
not to lunge forward and grab Muraki by the front of his shirt. That was what
the other man wanted. He wanted him to lose his cool and he wasn't about to
let himself fall into his trap. "I won't
let you hurt him, Muraki. If it's me you want-" "It is
always you that I want, Tsuzuki-san. You don't have to worry about that."
Muraki all but leered at him from across the table. "Then
let Hisoka go! I'll come with you! Just let him go!" -------------------------- [1] He vaguely remembered a poem he had read from one of the books in the library at Meifu. He faintly heard it again in the back of his head as he let himself fall back into the haunting memory.
"Father,
father, where are you going? Oh, do not walk so fast!" His father
all but dragged him behind his tall form. He tried to keep up as fast as he
could, but he was only a child after all. Why wouldn't
his father slow down? "Speak, father, speak to your little boy, Or else I shall be lost." "Father?
Are we going to see the fireflies?" Why didn't his father answer him?
Was he excited? Was that why he didn't answer? Why didn't
his father look down at him? It was getting darker and darker as his father
lead him to someplace he didn't know. He didn't like the dark. It made him
think of strange creatures, horrible serpents looking at him from behind a
veil of nothingness. "Father?" The night was dark, no father was there. His father
finally stopped, standing silently in one place as he looked towards a large
stone in front of them. He looked at it from behind the safety of his father's
taller form. Why were they here? What was his place? He didn't like, he didn't
like it one bit. "Hisoka."
His father spoke finally, his voice deep. "There's something I want to
show you." He looked up at his father, his eyes wide with trust in them. Trust that his father would protect him if anything would happen to him now or ever. Trust that he was safe as long as he was around. "Yes?" The child
was wet with dew; "I
want to show you." His father step forward, his hand at the small of
his back. His green
eyes widened suddenly when he noticed that his father was pushing him toward
the large rock. "Father?" "I
want to show you. Your grave!" A hard
shove and he was suddenly face down on the ground. His breath quickened
as pulled himself quickly, dirt sticking itself on his cheek and hands,
soiling his clean clothes. He whimpered as he heard a hissing from all around
him. Standing up quickly, he turned around to find that his father was no
longer there. His one and only means of safety had left him alone in the
dark. He shrieked
as a snake coiled itself around his small body. "FATHER!!" The mire was deep, and the child did weep, From where
he laid motionless on the ground, he noticed many things. He noticed that
the ground was actually quite wet in the dry air. He could see a beetle making
it's long and tumbling way across the rocky ground from where he once stood.
It was cold out, he could feel the air breathing against his legs, causing
goose bumps to form on them. He didn't
like it. He didn't like it one bit. He didn't
like the fact that he couldn't move. Didn't like how the snakes all had surrounded
him, causing him to choke and cry non-stop. Didn't like the horrible sounds
coming from the forest around him. He didn't
like the fact that as the fog drifted away, his father was still nowhere to
be seen. And away
the vapour flew. |