Hello
By Gaki (tooboe @ blue-prism.net)


Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
-- Evanescence, Hello

 

Hello.

It's been a long time, hasn't it? How long has it been exactly? How long has it been since the last time we've spoken to each other? That long? Have you missed me? Do you still think of me? You don't, do you? You've almost forgotten about me, haven't you? Yes, that's the keyword isn't it? Almost. It's such a cruel word, don't you think so? Almost. It sounds so teasing, doesn't it? It's like getting ready to take a step out of the door but getting stopped when you're halfway through, isn't it?

How have you been? Good? You've always been just 'Good', haven't you? Never once were you 'Great'. Never once did you answer me with that word. I wonder why? Why can't you be 'Great'? Is it because you won't let yourself be 'Great'? It's always 'Good'. I tire of that answer and I know you are too. Will you try for me? Will you try and be 'Great' just for me?

Smiling.

Why are you smiling again? I know you don't mean it so why do you smile?

Why do you lie to me like that? Don't turn away. Don't look somewhere else. Look at me. Look into my eyes and tell me why you're lying to me.

Stop smiling.

You know I hate it when you smile. It's so fake. Like everything about you. You're a fake, do you know that? Your smiles, your laughter and your personality.

It's not you at all. You used to mean it when you smiled. That was long ago. So long ago. What happened? When did your smiles become fake? When did your personality become false?

When did you start lying?

It's been a long time, hasn't it? You've changed so much, I can tell. I can tell by the look in your eyes and by the way you move. So much has changed. Hm? Me? Oh, I'm pretty much the same. I haven't changed a bit since the last time you visit. Do you remember? Do you remember the last time you visited me? Don't look away. Don't look away from me when I ask you a question.

Why won't you look at me?

Is it because you remember? Is it because you still see her face when you look at me?

Is it because it still hurts?

I know.

I know it hurts. I hurt too. When I remember her, I hurt. When I picture her smiles and her laughter and her joy. I hurt. Do you remember? Do you? Yes? I'm glad. Shall we remember together? Shall we close our eyes and picture her in our minds? Do you see her? Yes? Yes… I see her too.

She's in the kitchen again, cooking for us. She used to cook a lot. You ate everything. Don't try and deny it. You did. Though she didn't mind one bit. She would just smile. I watched her whenever you two ate. I watched her with her beautiful long hair and her wonderful smile. You have her smile, do you know that? You do. I loved it when you two smiled. It was such a beautiful picture. Twin smiles beaming brightly just for me to see. Just for me.

I miss that. I miss your smile that looked so much like her own. Is that why you don't smile that way anymore, I wonder. Is it because it reminds you of her when you smile like that? It is, isn't it? That's the reason why you don't smile like that anymore. That's the reason why your smiles are fake.

It's because it hurts to smile when she's not around anymore, isn't it?

Don't look away. Stop looking away. Why won't you face me anymore? Is it because I force you to remember? You must understand that in order for you to go on, you must remember. You must remember everything. You should never forget, remember that. Remember to never forget the past. Because if you don't, I will die.

I will die and then you will lose everything. You will forget everything if I die.

Do you want me to die? No? Then why do you refuse to face me? Why do you look away? Why do you run from me? Why do you scream and hide and cry and shake and shudder in fear when I try to find you?

Don't look away anymore. Face me. Look at me. Hold me. Remember me.

Because I'll never forget you. I won't forget you. I won't allow myself to forget you.

Why? Do you even have to ask why?

Because I will have no one to turn to if you're gone. Because I will be lonely if you're gone.

You are lonely, aren't you? In this house. In this room. In this darkness. Do not fear. I will keep you company. I will talk to you. I will listen to you.

Say what you want to say. You know I will never judge you. I will never turn from you or shun you.

Yes, that's it. Look at me again. Let me look into your eyes once again. Let me see the face I have missed so much. There it is. That mass of hair, those eyes, that tall nose and that strong face. How I've missed you. You haven't changed a bit from when you were a little boy, did you know that?

You still look the same. You still have that look upon your face.

Tortured. Lost. Frightened. Trying so hard to be strong.

You're like a twig that's fallen from it's branch and has been stepped upon.

You're like a twig that's been broken in half. Shall we try and put you together again? Shall we try and find your other half? Though you do know that you needn't look any further, don't you? For your other half is here.

I am your other half.

I am the part of you that has been broken, torn from you.

I am the other half that holds your pain.

I am the other half that remembers your past.

I am the other half that is the real you.

I am the child that is hidden inside of you.

I am the child that has been beatened and stoned.

I am you.

Hello.

Have you missed me?

 

 

The storm outside raged on, flashes of light striking across the sky and illuminating the darkened room. There wasn't much in the room. It was bare and a lone futon lay near a corner, empty.

Another flash of light was thrown across the sky and a figure was seen standing in front of a mirror that hung on the wall. There was no noise inside the room. Only the sound of the storm outside caused any noise within the room, within the quiet house. The figure continued to look into the mirror, as if trying to find something.

Tsuzuki Asato watched his reflection, his violet eyes wide. In the mirror, his reflection smiled slightly at him. His reflection stared at him and blinked and smiled a bit more. His reflection smiled like an old friend who had just returned from a long and hard journey. His reflection smiled softly and it seemed like it would have waved at him.

He continued to watch. And slowly he smiled back. His reflection only grinned wider.

He sighed, returning the grin.

"… Hello."

 

Hello
I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday


***End

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